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Monday, May 19th, 2008
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9:24 pm - A Poem by Sarah Zerwin
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Philosophy makes us delirious during
this last class of the day with
personalities like none other.
Wiggle your fingers
for the dead fish face.
Maybe we'll tell some nasty man stories.
Because cookies aren't people
(unless it's a guy in a cookie suit).
Shoooooooooooooooooooooooosh!
breaks up the three ring circus,
(the Kate and Laura show or
the Jonah and Mike show or
the Sarah and Sarah show)
but the tic tacs remain
as we head into tangentville
pondering the shape
of our own life spirals.
7 January 2003
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Saturday, December 29th, 2007
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2:02 am - Status Check
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It's been a while since I posted something. I don't even know who reads this anymore. I certainly don't check it that often. Either way, I needed to document this occurrence:
I was driving home from hanging out with my friends in Bloomington tonight and decided to get off at the Monticello exit to take 150 into Mahomet. I was coming up to the stop sign and I saw a police officer coming toward me on 150. I turned left toward mahomet, and noticed that the police officer immediately got behind me. He followed me for a while...I was doing nothing wrong (no speeding, swerving, nothing). Finally, as I expected he would, he turned on his lights and signaled for me to get over. He informed me that my license plate light was out, which is why he pulled me over. He checked everything out and then just let me go on.
I know he just pulled me over because it was 1:30 in the morning and it was an opportunity to potentially catch someone in the wrong place at the wrong time. Fortunately I hadn't been doing anything wrong, or I probably would have been rung up for being me. By the way, I checked the license plate light on my car when I got home...it wasn't out.
Oh well.
At least it helped keep me awake on the way home.
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| Wednesday, December 27th, 2006
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6:29 pm - Wonderful
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Systems Analyst Internship this summer + living in a 1500 square foot town house + $14.00/hr + personal company laptop + new car + potential job after graduation = best thing that's ever happened to me!!!
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, November 2nd, 2006
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8:13 pm - Quite possibly one of the funniest things I've ever seen!
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| Wednesday, October 25th, 2006
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11:10 pm
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A professor in our English department said to prospective students something along these lines:
History majors learn about what happened in the past and why it happened. We make history.
Psychologists diagnose mental diseases and do research. We do research and then psychologists analyze us.
Business majors run businesses, work in offices, and market OUR products.
Political Science majors learn how governments are run and why we have war. We write about war, write about our feelings, and cause revolution.
Education majors teach students how to teach. We teach teachers how to learn.
We sigle-handedly give all majors something to study. Whether it be academic, for research, or fun, for passing time, we capture the emotion of all that is around us.
Literature is everywhere. We make the world what it is. All majors read what we write and say. We are history majors, exploring history through fiction and nonfiction. We are psychologists, studying the human mind in Poe and Hawthorne. We are entrepreneurs, and our business is creating a world where real emotion goes into fiction environment, where real and personal events are captured onto paper and withstand the test of time.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, October 10th, 2006
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8:18 pm
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I'm working as a writing tutor at the learning center here on campus. People bring me their essays and I read it over with them, give them suggestions, and then they are supposed to go back and work on it to turn it in. I'm aware that most of the students who come to the learning center have thrown something together and expect us to edit it and tell them what to put so they dont have to do the work. But I hate doing that because first of all, they're being lazy and not earning the grade themselves. But more importantly, if I made all the changes I thought would be right, I would be writing their paper and doing their work. So I like to talk them through it, tell them how it's wrong, and see what suggestions they can come up with to solve the problem.
Mostly atheletes and foreign students come to get help.
However, I was moved the other day when a football player brought in one of his essays for a freshman level writing course. His paper was supposed to be about an experience he had in his life that changed him as a person. He came in and handed me one page of paper with half a page of writing on it. His introduction was one sentence, no conclusion. He stole his "experience" from a kid he knew in high school who had Cerebal Palsy. He just wrote about this kid as if it were himself. He had already turned it in and received a D on it. I expected that he was just lazy or that he came in just to get his grade higher. The more I worked with him though, the more I realized that he had some great ideas and was attempting to convey something far deeper than the one paragraph he already had, had displayed.
We talked through it, he tossed around some ideas. We did some essay mapping and generated a flow for his essay. He came up with the thesis himself. He took over his ideas for a conclusion, and by the end of the night we had about a page and a half of just ideas for his essay.
I saw him tonight at the Learning Center and he came up to me and thanked me for my help. He had rewritten his essay with the ideas and thoughts we tossed around and developed a highly emotional and touching essay about his friend with Cerebal Palsy and how it affected him as a human and Christian. He informed me that he got an A on the revision and was proud of, not just his grade but of his essay.
I decided tonight that helping students in this way is something that I can totally see myself doing as a career. I want to be able to tap into a student's thoughts and help them to convey, into words, what they're thinking. I want to be able to sit down with them and help them get the ball rolling, but also watch as they discover their potential and think for themselves. To see a person transform a paragraph of honestly nothing, into a well-crafted essay that has voice, style, creativity, and emotion, has become so very rewarding to me.
I'm seriously considering taking the Transition to Teaching program to get certified to teach high school English. It would be one more year of schooling, but I think it would be worth it.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, August 31st, 2006
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8:35 pm
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| You Are An ENTJ |
The Executive
You are a natural leader - with confidence and strength that inspires others.
Driven to succeed, you are always looking for ways to gain, power, knowledge, and expertise.
Sometimes you aren't the most considerate person, especially to those who are a bit slow.
You are not easily intimidated - and you have a commanding, awe-inspiring presence.
You would make a great CEO, entrepreneur, or consultant. |
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, August 30th, 2006
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9:47 pm - finally...
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In the 3 years I have studied music, I have never heard anything so refreshing or remotely connected to my passion for music. Thank God someone touched upon it, even if just for a paragraph:
If you are a good musician, you can become a successful conductor by following these steps:
[...]
3. Choose music you love. If you have a passionate desire to hear a certain piece performed a certain way, it somehow takes hold of you and makes you a better leader than you really are. Colorless and timid people often become incandescent when conducting simply because they are transformed by the music. Sometimes we are required to conduct works we do not like; most of us are very lukewarm and insipid on such occassions.
Thank you. I needed to hear that!
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| Friday, August 25th, 2006
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1:40 am
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In less than 8 hours I embark on my third year of college. It's no longer knew, it's no longer scary. Things are different. No more dorm, no more meal plans, no more easy classes...it's just different. I'm excited, unsure, all the things that one might be a time like this.
It's just important for me to remember: Change is always scary because we dont know what to expect. But if we expect nothing we have nothing to be afraid of.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, August 15th, 2006
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9:28 pm
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A week and a half still until I head back to Anderson.
This summer has been crazy. I:
-worked 3 jobs, including commuting 5 days a week to bloomington
-took an online class
-didn't read half as many books as I would have liked
-learned that some people are right for your life and some people aren't
-rekindled an old friendship
-made some amazing new friendships
-turned 21, but did not go out drinking on my birthday, even though most people expected me to
-went on TWO road trips
-rebuilt my computer after my hard drive crashed
-found out i go to college with a girl i worked with
-started dating someone I met at work
--am still dating someone I met at work :-)
-learned a lot about myself
-got my first speeding ticket
I read 1984 (Orwell) in May when I got back from school. Last week I pulled out Chronicles of Narnia; the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. I finished it last night. I hadnt read that since 5th grade. It was refreshing. I am currently working on reading A Clockwork Orange before leaving for school. I'm not too disappointed in my accomplished readings for this summer. Especially since I'll be spending the next 4 semesters doing nothing but reading...I'm ready though.
*sigh* I wish I could talk to my friend Josh from college who now lives in San Diego. It's going to be sad not having him around at school this year. He was my best friend. I was supposed to go to San Diego to visit him in July, but my mom couldn't find a cheap enough flight to send me out there, and then I just ran out of time. I'm really upset, I wanted to see him. I hope he's alright...
I saw Kate a bunch at the beginning of the summer. We hung out a lot (and by a lot I mean far far more than we have hung out the last 3 years combined. It was so good to see her. Things were finally falling into place. But then she got a boyfriend and I got a girlfriend and well, we all know how that goes. I just hope she knows (Kate I hope you know) that she (you) are a very important part of my life and I'm so glad that we experienced what we were able to experience together. She (You) will always be in my heart and play a very intricate and imporant role in my life. Someday Kate, someday...it'll make sense.
I hung out with Brad every day in before I started my full-time job. It as amazing. I'm so glad I got to be around him more. I never saw him when he went to school in MO, but now that he's home, hopefully we'll hang out a lot more. He's such a good friend. While I dont agree with everything he does or has done, it doesn't matter. He's my best friend and will always be there for me. That's so important...he is one of the greatest friends I've ever had. I dont know what I'd do without him. I'm really considering getting an apartment with him next summer.
enough rambling, reflecting, sulking, whatever...it's been a good summer. and it's not quite over yet. once again i didn't see or spend time with half the people i said i would or wish i could have. but i can't complain because the people i met, hung out with, got to know, etc. were all so important to me and made it a great summer anyway...
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| Sunday, June 11th, 2006
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12:06 am
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Saw the DaVinci Code tonight...interesting movie.
It was a good piece of NONfiction. Not as trhilling as I thought. It didn't make me challege or question my faith. I enjoyed the writer's creativity in coming to the conclusions he did, but in the end it wasn't as good as the media made it out to be. Just mediochre.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Sunday, May 14th, 2006
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11:15 pm - Contemplation
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Livejournal is the only place I feel like I can write about my feelings...but I run the risk of saying something that might upset people...
Ive been very provoked by thought lately. I cant clear my head. I've changed a lot since going to college. I've liked some of the changes, but most people dont like those things about me. I've changed for the worst in a lot of ways too, but I feel more accepted. How backward is that?
I'm more arrogant, and confrontational. Ironically, I act more arrogant even though my confidence goes down every day.
I've lost focus. I've lost perspective. Everyone around me is breaking...I'm trying to pick up te pieces for them, but have let myself spin out of control at the same time.
I'm disrespectful, because I fear people will disrespect me if I dont dish out the first blow.
I guess the good thing is that I realize that thmis is occurring...
And the funny thing is, i thought I was getting myself back on track and headed in the right direction. But then you find out that the people you think are "good" (a term i use very loosely) in the world, dont like you. Where do you go? What do you do?
I'm lost. Someone find me. Please?
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, April 4th, 2006
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2:43 am
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I'm pretty sure it's impossible to read 72 chapters of a novel, design 5 webpages and create a javascript game, write an exegesis, write a 6 page essay, read for the rest of my classes, and study for a test, all in one week.
My personal library has temporarily expanded to include 11 research books, criticisms, and analyses from the library. My personal insanity level has gone from mildly-naturally insane, to if my teachers assign me one more thing to do, i might have to hang myself from my 3rd story window! if spontaneously combusting was possible due to stress and overload, it probably would have happened to me by now.
I need to go to bed. what the hell am i doing posting on livejournal?!?! I have 6 more pages of exegesis to write!
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, February 28th, 2006
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8:53 pm
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| Saturday, February 18th, 2006
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2:08 am - Christianity and hipocracy
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I was reading a person's livejournal the other day and he was expressing himself and his feelings toward Christianity. He was honest, real, and forward. He gave honest examples and I can respect a person who honestly speaks his mind about his feelings.
However there was this jokester who decided that it was his will to impress his personal ideas on this other guy by telling him that his argument was flawed and that what he stood for was wrong. However the irony of it all is that the guy was merely proving what the livejournal already stated about Christianity.
Christians tried to back up slavery based on Biblical versus. Christians tried to condemn other religions and imprison millions of people because they disagreed with their views and ideals. However the Bible is laced with stories of unconditional love, and forgivness. Yet the modern Christian only condemns. The modern Christian is more concerned with making people "get it right," and more-or-less play God in a way that we were not intended to do so. I think that the idea of evangelism has been taken out of context and made into something it was not meant to be.
Christians are all at different points in their walk with God and it is not our place to say that where we stand in relation to God is wrong, flawed, weak, or unimportant. Only God and that person understand their relationship, and if they desire to strengthen that bond, they will do so on their own, or will ask for help.
Christians like to argue, I believe because they think that they are always right and are the definitive answer to religion, life, and theological understanding. If that's true then why have gotten it so wrong so many times in history?
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| Thursday, February 9th, 2006
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11:15 pm - fumigation
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the classroom is not an open forum for professors to voice and impose their political ideals and agendas on the students...
...or is it?
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, February 7th, 2006
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10:14 pm
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She intrigued me. She listened and I was glad to be there for her. I loved talking to her and loved knowing what she was thinking...about everything.
It was a summer to remember, full of memories, jokes, fun, the cutest awkward moments, and a group of 6-12 year olds who pretended that we were dating until we finally did.
Waiting for each other after work, leaving presents on each other's windshields, spontaneous walks, talks, movie nights, matching outfits on our first date, ignoring the kids at the pool because we were too concerned with each other...purposefully positioning ourselves so that we could see each other from the other end and walking the direction of each other just to exchange a shy "hi".
Sleep overs, cuddling, the magic of our first kiss...
holding hands in the dark, unable to see anything; holding each other close for warmth even though it wasn't cold. standing in the rain, driving in the car, surprise visits when I was sick, taking care of her when she was sick...*sigh*
Distance does not make the heart grow fonder--
one "I love you" a day is not enough
we had our fair share of problems. i wasn't able to be there for her enough. all i wanted was to inspire her, make her proud, show her she was "great" and "beautiful" in someone's eyes. i wanted to bring her to God, and show her the joy He had given me. all i wanted was to motivate her into knowing that she was a strong, independent woman, respected by at least one, loved by at least one, appreciated by at least one...i failed
she's moved on; but part of me hopes that she still holds on to the past...the memories, the hopes, the dreams, the good and bad...that summer; an endless summer, a perfect summer. she said that she was tired of being treated "that" way. i failed again. did i break her, make her revert, show her the opposite of my purpose? she said she was tired of running from one guy to the next; but then why did she again?
i didn't want it to end up like this. you think i did? you think it was all my fault?!?!?!..maybe it was...
they tell me to move on. they tell me to forget. they tell me to do "better". a Christian's work is never done, it never ends. our impact on people's lives should not be "here today, gone tomorrow"...yet i'm gone aren't i? was it my fault? perhaps...
they tell me it's best for me if i remind myself of why it didn't work...that's fine, but i choose to remember the "good." you taught me that there is good in everyone. in some ways you were a better person than i...i choose to remember the good.
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| Sunday, January 29th, 2006
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6:42 pm - adventures of matt donovan
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Just got back from Canada. Lemme recap for those of you who have no idea what's going on...
Me and my friend decided it would be fun to go to Canada, so at 1:30am we packed our backs and were on the road 15 minutes later. It was totally unplanned: all we had with us was a can of pringles, a change of clothes and some cash. When we were in Ohio we got pulled over, but didn't get a ticket. We got to the Canadian border at 5:45am and had to go through customs and immigration because we didn't have passports or birth certificates. They made us get out of the car, they searched the entire vehicle and asked us a bunch of questions, but eventually let us in.
We got into Canada around 6:30am and didn't really know what to do...nothing was open and we didn't have a place to stay. Josh was driving but we decided to go the casino and see what was up. We watched people gamble for a while and then headed back to the car to sleep. We slept for 4 hours in the casino parking lot, and then got up to get something to eat.
We decided to go to a Canadian Tavern for lunch. Then we headed back to the casino for some gambling. I won a lot actually. We cashed in our chips, walked around Windsor for a while, took in some sights, and then headed back to the casino. Josh gambled a little more, then we went out to buy some Cuban cigars. We found a shop that was the liscensed franshise in Canada for selling Cuban cigars. After that we headed back to the Casino to exchange our money and get the car. We were back on the road by 6 and got home around 10:30. All in all it was a sweet trip. Unexpected, unplanned, and completely random...but a ton of fun.
current mood:  tired
current music: "Run It"- Chris Brown
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, January 10th, 2006
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9:35 pm - new semester resolutions
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I've been back at school since Sunday. Now time for my new semester resolutions/goals/expectations.
It is my goal this semester (as with all others) that I show each and every person I meet that they are special, unique, and blessed individuals, with specific talents, goals, and abilities. It is my goal to show them that they should be appreciated for everything that they are and that compromising themselves is not necessary to feel loved and important.
It is my goal to not look at college as a social fest. At the same time, I do not want to make college solely academic. I am aiming to tighten my friendship circles, so that each person I hang out with doesn't feel like "just another friend." I want to show my friends that they are special and important to me as individuals, and not just when we're hanging out.
I want to tie up some loose ends with people since I've gone to college. I have some unresolved tension between certain people, and am going to resolve it and tell them how i feel...even if it hurts.
I am not going to view college as an opportunity to find my wife. I'm too young, and want to have lots of fun. There is a lot of life after college here in Anderson, and I do not need to search for my soul-mate, like everyone else does.
...yeah, i think that's enough for now...yeah, that does it.
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| Friday, January 6th, 2006
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5:08 pm - Chester's Last Stand
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I go back to school on Sunday, yesterday was my last day of work until summer at IGA, tonight: my last night being home and able to do something. It's going down in history!
I am uber excited about this one. We've been planning it for weeks. Me, Heather, Sara, Kaite, Corinne, Amy, Savannah, Alex, and Matt (yes, I really like the ratio so far), and a bunch of other people are going out tonight! It's going to be wicked rediculous fun!
For those of you that I got to see, yay! For those of you I didnt...maybe next time? It was good catching up with people I hadn't seen for a really long time (almost a year and a half *ahem* kathy). It was awesome hanging out with my old friends and catching up. Thanks for a wicked awesome new year's eve nicki and friends.
I'm very ready to be back at school. I miss my friends so much, and there are so many friends who, this last semester I didn't really get to hang out with, due to a certain circumstance (which is now gone). So bring on the partyin'!!!! haha aka, hanging out.
If I dont see you tonight, hopefully I'll see you all before I leave.
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